Dealing with stress

Stress - a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.

There were many times in my life when I felt so stressed out, that I even physically got sick and wasn't able to do anything, because of stress. I've always found it to be an abstract thing, kind of like wind or love. You feel it is there, it affects you, but you can't see it or touch it. 

Stress can be caused by many reasons.

The most common ones for me are (were) work stress (deadlines, responsibilities, pressure), school stress (exam periods, finals) and emotional stress (relationships, friendships, family). 

School stress sucked.

They give you a period in a semester where all the exams are at the same time and now you have all this work to do and pressure to pass all of them. I was aware at that time that if I had studied during the whole semester, I would feel much less pressure and have more time to do what I want, instead of just spending all of my time on studying. But I still didn't start earlier. 

I used to get so stressed out that I would get a flu or high temperature. I would study a few days before the exam and do all that I should have done before - in one week. I felt tired, exhausted, lost sleep, I wasn't eating right and it was always the worst weeks of my year. 

When I started working, even as a student, I realized school stress is a nothing compared to work stress, because at work you have much more responsibilities. 

You don't want to disappoint your boss or get fired, sometimes you work over time, you get crazy deadlines and there is real money involved here so any mistake can be very risky. 

Then there was this casual day-to-day stress where I was stressed about what will I wear to a certain event or just a night out, how is my hair, how is my makeup, running late stress etc.

But the absolute worst kind of stress I ever felt is the emotional one. 

Who invented dating? Dating is the place where stress finds a wife stress and makes other baby stresses. 

Including the last part I wrote, it also includes : "Will we have fun", "Will we have stuff to talk about", "Where will we go". Later it's "What are we stress", "Am I doing the right thing by dumping him", and if you end up in a long term relationship with some problems, comes the real stuff. Fighting, disagreements, stubbornness, frustration leads you to be completely emotionally exhausted because you get so passionate about someone, but it just doesn't seem to work out, so in the end it drains your balance and energy. 

What has always helped me overcome these stresses, are the following words:

People have survived it.

There are so many people who finished the same school or Uni where I was, so that meant it's possible and I can too. School is just school, you can write tests again, repeat the year, hell you can even get out of this Uni and go to another one if you feel this one isn't for you. 

One of my good friends actually did that. Spent a few years in one Uni she wasn't interested in and didn't really care about, so she failed a year or two. Next thing you know she said fuck it - and started a whole new Uni. From the beginning, in a completely different field, one which interested her and which she enjoyed. I always admired her for that. 

In the end it's just a test, just a semester, just a year. I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your responsibilities, but it's important to be aware of the worst scenarios and prepare for them earlier. 

There are also better methods of studying which I was aware of later, so just exploring and finding out what worked for me (I am the audio type, so studying with my girlfriend was the most productive studying) helped me a lot.

I found joy in studying with her because we would make a day out of it, each would study a part, we would explain it to each other, have coffee and pancake breaks, and in the end of the day we'd watch some stand-up show on You Tube and relax. So finding a better way made it all 10 times better.

Work.

There are many people who have either worked at your job or have started their own work. Work is just work. It's just a task, it's just a deadline, it's just a job. There are other jobs you can find if it comes to that. People fail, jobs collapse, it happens. People survived, so can we. The key is to organize yourself and communicate with the people around you. If you have these two under control, you will probably do good at your job.

Relationships.

They can be fixed throughout communication and honesty, and if they can't, well, there are other people out there who will love you and respect you and give you what you need in a partner or a friend. If you even feel a little bit that something isn't right in any relationship, with a partner or a friend, get out. You are probably right and you need to listen to that inner voice.Tell people you don't want to be treated like that, remember you decide how someone will treat you and people only do to you what you allow them.

5 pieces of advice for dealing with toxic people / OWN

And in some cases, if you are kinda forced to work with or be around someone who just doesn't agree with anything you believe or who you can't really stand, you just need to find the best way to make it work, I mean that's life. You won't always have perfect people around you, but you can't allow that to stress you out. Find a way to work with them and just handle it like an adult. 

As for other kinds of relationships - if there are people who get divorced after 20 years of marriage, with kids, bills, houses and real responsibilities, then you can definitely leave a bad relationship (including bad friends). It's just not worth it. The grass is greener on the other side.

We should aim to have a stress free happy life, find support in others who have already been through it, remember the important things in life and always do our best. 


Until next time 😊