Things girls don't understand about boys
This weekend I went to see the one-man comedy show
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" which is based on a
very popular book. And let me tell you, the amount of accuracy in it is
disturbing. The whole time I thought: "I do do that!" or "They
do do that!".
So it got me thinking. There are so many things us
as women and men don't understand about each other.
What I decided to do is a little research among my
girlfriends and see what are the most common things we don't understand about
men. Maybe this will serve to men as a manual, maybe it will serve us or maybe
I just did this because I am very busy this week and I almost peed in my
pants while talking about this to my girls.
These are all real quotes, my own
or the ones I got from my girlfriends. Real scenarios that happened. I'm not
saying all men are like this, but some are or were at one point.
Here are the things me and my girls don't understand about boys.
1. „It started normally. Hey, I'm going
to the bathroom, he said. So I was like, ok cool. 5-10-15-20 MINUTES passed
and then he finally came back.
When we go poop (can't say take a shit because you all
think butterflies and unicorns come out of girls asses), we are in and out.
Either it happens for us or not, if not, we try later. But guys make a whole
trip out of it. Guys go and take their phone, newspapers, a book, an
encyclopedia, some food, a beer, dessert, a crossword puzzle, their laptop, and they disappear into a black hole in the bathroom.
The first time it happened, I thought he drowned, the smell killed him or he ran away.
Later he said: I was taking a shit. NOT POOPING, because the word pooping seems
gay to them, so they don't use it. Also, some guys explained to me that they
can't call it pooping because they actually do take a giant shit and it's not a pretty process so the word pooping just doesn't work here.“
2."Ball scratching. And then
leaving their hands in their pants when that ball scratching is done"
3."Ugh the worst is when they ask you to keep
their stuff in your bag. Like get your own or don't bring that much stuff. Also
when they don't use the stuff they ask to put in your bag.. like really? Why
the fuck did you bring it then?"
„When we go out and we take a clutch bag (a small bag
for those who don't know) it means we took it only to keep our phone and money.
NO, THERE IS NO SPACE FOR YOUR WALLET, KEYS AND PHONE TOO.“
4. "When they sit down with their legs spread so
wide that you have no room to sit on either side of them"
5. "They think you like watching
them playing video games, seriously I want to break FIFA"
„Play it just don' make us watch. We are not impressed
with your skills of pressing buttons.“
6. "Constantly underestimating how long it takes
to get places: "it's only 20 mins" - it's an hour"
7. „Not wanting to ask for directions“
8. "Giving observations instead of compliments
like: "you changed your hair" yes, duh? Do you like it or not?"
„Some of the things I heard from men were: "What
shirt is that?" - It's my new shirt. Or "Why are you so dressed
up?"
See for men these were compliments, but they can't say
that, they just play the captain obvious.“
9. "Making fun of you being
messy even thought they're 100% so much messier than you are"
10. "Worst one for me is when I call my boyfriend
cause I want to say (and hear) sweet stuff, and he goes all "um kind of in
the middle of something, why are you calling?" -Oh never mind I won't
bother you with my love bye“
11. "When you're watching your TV shows, like reality ones like the Kardashians, they won't stop taking the piss out of it
and saying it's the worst show. And this is the worst thing - being in the same
room while you watch it, like fuck off you make me watch your shitty TV shows
all the time"
12. "Their towels always smell and they have
sooooo much laundry like.. More than I do and I'm a girl."
13. "When you've to hang out with their friends
shitty girlfriends! Some of them can be a right pain in the hole"
14. "When they cannot get the hint. I mean if I
am not replying to your message on Whatsapp or answering your phone calls, then
why the fuck you thought that trying to contact me through Instagram requested
messages (as you are some creepy stalker who doesn’t even follow me) will help
you?!!"
15. "They don't know how to be quiet
in the morning when you're still sleeping"
16. "When they want to take you out but not
actually plan the outing"
17. "When you tell a story and
think they are listening, but they answer with something they were thinking
about and make the story be about him"
18. "Wanting to skip foreplay, I mean come
on"
19. "When you put in a lot of effort to dress up
and be pretty and he says "you don't need all that stuff, I like you
better all natural"
„BOY I AIN'T DRESSED UP FOR YOU. If anything girls dress up to impress other girls, to feel awesome about themselves or because we like clothes and makeup - like you like sports.“
20. "Their sports obsessions. Like honestly they
would rather die than miss a soccer match"
„See we don't get it. It's just a game, there will be more of them. Many more. Soon. Why is THIS one the most important things in your life right now?“
21. "Act like total babies when they're sick..
like honestly they have a little flu and they take like a week off work wtf is
that"
"When they are dramatic because they sneezed once
so they need a week of taking care of them"
22. "Why they all take pictures with their
friends in the same pose, hugging each others necks"
23. "When they take a picture without their
shirts in the gym and expect us to fall for that when actually we hate it. You
are not Ryan Reynolds, we don't care. „
24. "When they have stereotypes about girls that
talk about sports or cars. Some of us are interested and know
about stuff. Don't be a neanderthal.“
25. "When they have a fiance or a girlfriend and
they come hit on you."
26. "When you are sad or pissed off and they ask:
"Are you in PMS?" because they don't want to discuss it so that is their easiest conclusion"
„No we don't have PMS, you are just being
annoying. It's you, not us. Also please google PMS so you can understand what
it is and when it happens if you gonna mention it.“
27. "When a random dude texts you:
"Hey" or "Whats up"? and expects you to start a
conversation with him. We don't know you. Nothing is up,
especially your penis won't be, so don't bother.“
28. "Give each other dumb ass nicknames"
Whats up bro Sup tiger? Sup killa? Sup player? Sup
pussy master?
29. "When you have really great sex and you were
super loud, and right after (when he is supposed to be romantic) he goes
"do you think my mom heard us?""
30. "When you're blowing them while you're trying
to control it but they almost choke you to death. I mean I like a light
choke but don't kill me dude"
31. "When they think they can fix and DIY
everything needed or broken"
„Let's just call a pro to do it. I believe in your
manly hand crafting skills but I also need my lamp to work now.“
32. "When they buy you a drink in a club an
expect to spend the night in your uterus because of it"
33. "When they act all cool sober but they call
you 23 times while drunk"
34. "When they don't change their underwear or
socks for a few days"
35. "When they pack for a weekend trip and take
only one shirt and one pair of underwear and think it's enough"
36. "When they stalk you after you talked or
kissed once"
37. "When they possess no
sense of urgency with texting you back ie: leaving you on read for hours maybe
even days"
38. "Catcalling. The worst!“
39. „When a random guy smacks your ass in a club and
when you turn around to hit him back he hides like a bitch.“
40. "When they send you dick pics"
41. "When they are unsatisfied with everything
and say: " This one is terrible in bed, she just lays there and does
nothing and expects me to not cheat on her" but they also say "This
one gives amazing BJs, she is probably a whore and had many men to learn how to
do that"
42. „When they can't multitask but only do or think
about one thing at a time“
43. "When they act all immature about us having
our period. Like they don't wanna hear about it, see a tampon or anything. They
even avoid that part of the drugstore in wide circles"
44. "When they don't want to even enter a drug
store with you! What do they think, that in there all women sip tea dressed in a vagina costumes and talk about shampoos?"
45. "When you are on a tinder date and thought it would be a booty call, but here you are listening to a guy whining about his life for over 4 hours“
Honorable mentions
"I hate how they love girl on girl Porn hub action, but still go to protests against gay people and deny their rights"
"When they love lesbians but can't stand gay men"
"The worst thing is that we all know men ain't shit, but we still go
behind each others back and get with other women's boyfriends because of our
fucking hormones"
This was damn eventful. Again, not saying all guys are
like that or do that, there are some really nice great men in the world. But
the fact is these things up here happen and have happened. And yes we are aware there are things us girls do that you are annoyed with or you don't understand. Feel free to make this list for that. But this
was just my little project to scan the situation.
The guy in the show said understanding each other and
our differences is the secret to successful relationships. So when your man or
women does something you don't understand, instead of starting a fight, think
about why they did or said what they did and then react. We are different. Of course, for some things on this list there shouldn't be understanding because
they are awful and shouldn't happen. But for others:
u n d e r s t a n d i n g.
Let's try it.
Special thanks to all my girlfriends for sharing and participating 💓
Primjedbe
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