The lyrics of Eurovision

So as you may know,if you're a European who owns a TV, last weekend the Eurovision song contest finals happened. I was gonna continue my Marvel marathon, but then I though let's just watch this for a second and see where it takes us.

I used to love Eurovision. Mainly because of the voting. That is the best part of it. Just guessing how the votes go politically and always getting it right is super fun for me. Greece, 12 points to Cyprus?? SHOCKING.

Also the presenters always have something "witty" to say, and by witty I mean cringy.

 Like this year one girl was like: "12 points go to...La La Land. Oh no, wrong show."

The Latvian presenter said: "12 points go to Kanye West!"

😕

Anyhow, when I hear a song for the first time, the way I see if it's of any quality for me is:

1. Do I find something relatable in the lyrics and

2. Did I get any emotional reaction to it whatsoever, whether it is sadness, memories or feeling pretty bad ass when listening to anything from Cardi B.

So that was my scale for this Eurovision, but I also added rating the performance, because I mean this is Eurovision. It must be attractive and memorable.

Here are some of the things I noticed this year:

Edward Cullen

It wouldn't be Eurovision without someone dressed like a vampire, getting out of a coffin and playing a piano that's on fire, right?

Lyrics:

You can see that whatever the weather
That the wind’s always there, always fair

Ummm I really disagree bro. The wind is in fact not always there. Sometimes there is no wind. And even if it was always there, how is that fair?

Bonus: His name is Melovin. I give that plus points because it reminds me of Mclovin.

Australia

Ahhhhh Australia, my favorite European country. Love all the school trips we took there because it's so close to other European countries.

I won't throw my hands up to surrender
'Cause love is stronger than fire
So don't, don't give up

Wow, using fire in your lyrics? That's new and refreshing. You could have said stronger than whatever else, but no, there is that fire!

I guess it's a catchy song which is good for Eurovision and this singer seemed pretty pumped for singing it, so that is a plus.

The winner

See I'm OK with this song winning because it is exactly what a Eurovision song should be like. Catchy, different and memorable. Not at all shocked this song winning. It was one of the rare ones I remembered because it was something new.

People are also calling it a feminist song. I mean, I guess you could say that-
Look at me, I'm a beautiful creature
I don't care about your modern-time preachers
Welcome boys, too much noise, I will teach ya
Pam pam pa hoo, prram pam pa hoo
Hey, I think you forgot how to play

My teddy bear's running away
The Barbie got somethin' to say, hey, hey, hey
Hey! My "Simon says" leave me alone
I'm taking my Pikachu home
You're stupid just like your smartphone

You know what, I'm not even gonna comment on that. What I really want to see is this girl sing with Korn. Because mixing her start of this song with Korn's last part of Freak on a Leash song would be something epic.

Anyway, congrats!

Moldova

I liked this performance. It made me confused as to how many people are actually on stage. It was fun and nice to watch. The lyrics though:

We can be forever
Number one, together
We can make a dream come true

I know this is just my weird mind, but why do these lyrics sound like they want to do a number one together?

Long time no see Alexander!

This guy won Eurovision a few years back, with that awesome song Fairytale which I loved. Now he is back. Why? Why would you go from a winner to a non winner with an average song? And his song is called "That's how you write a song." That's funny and sad at the same time.

Lyrics:

Enjoy the small things

With time they will get big

Ok I officially have the dirtiest mind ever, I can't.

And then there was Czech Republic, bless them for sending us guys doing this move.

First I was like why is Steve Urkel on Eurovision, but then I was like OK Steve you shake that!

Lyrics:

I know you 'bop-whop-a-lu bop' on his wood bamboo
When you were still seeing me and well he didn't even knew hmm
But God damn it, come and count to three, now sit down
I'm on fire

This IS a pervy song come on! I've never heard of a wood bamboo before. Interesting expression. Aaaaaandd he is on fire, of course he is.

Now this song. I am so disappointed at these lyrics, but I will try to get through it. 
Let's go.

I was looking for some high-high-highs, yeah
'Til I got a dose of you
You got me pelican fly-fly-flyin'

Wow,rhyming high and fly? Never heard before. Maybe you could do something like higher-fire?

'Cause I'm way up and I ain’t comin' down
Keep taking me higher
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah, yeah ah yeah ah yeah
'Cause I'm burning up and I ain't coolin' down
Yeah I got the fire

Oh well, never expected that plot twist. You are a game changer girl!

Let's see the chorus:
Fuego
Fuego
Ah yeah ah yeah ah yeah, yeah ah yeah ah yeah
Fuego

Look it's fire again! ONLY IN SPANISH NOW.

So deep and meaningful. Touched and moved by the powerful, never heard before, life changing lyrics. Come on I'm sure you can do better.

Bulgaria

I HAD NO IDEA SIA WAS BULGARIAN! Honestly I really liked the song and the performance.

Wanna be the fire
Even if it burns
Offer up my fibers
To feel it, feel it, feel it

Oh look, there is that fire again! I also like to set myself on fire to "feel it".

Belarus

You'll always sing me something new
I will always follow
When I first saw you here I knew
That I was blind before you

See these are some nice quality lyrics that touched me deep in my emotional place. I'm not crying, you are!

Sweden

I LOVE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!!!!!
Oh wait, nope, it's this dude.

Spain

So apparently these two are in a relationship. We could clearly see some sweet sweet lovin' and sexual tension happening here. They were really cute, I liked them.

Lyrics:

Siento que bailo por primera vez
Eres el arte que endulza la piel
De mi mente viajera que sigue tus pies
Siento que bailo por primera vez junto a ti

You know what? It really doesn't matter what the lyrics are because EVERYTHING IN SPANISH SOUNDS GREAT. Everything.

Example, if someone says: "Me tiro un pedo, acabo de tomar una mierda gigante."

You think this is all romantic and stuff right, sounds beautiful. It means: "I just farted, and I just took a giant shit."

So spanish lyrics always always sound good. Most beautiful language ever.

Estonia

Who cares about the lyrics LOOK AT THAT DRESS. Yes Estonia, yes.

Finland

Felt so numb, but now I’m ready to feel it
So tonight I’m making friends with all the creatures that are hiding there under my bed

I feel like this is similar to Rihanna and Eminem song. Still, this girl sang turned upside down and still had a great voice. I mean that is pretty bad ass. So no hate there.

UK

Let's get right into it:

Hey, hey brother
Do you remember when we were kids with no fear
Hey, hey sister
Do you believe in the things we dreamt we’d discover

Ummm, this sounds oddly similar to an Avicii song.

Storms don’t last forever, forever, remember

Ok well this poor girl had some guy run up the stage and take her microphone which left her doing something so awkward:

She looks like me in the club since I quit drinking. Or when I don't know a song. 

Still, I mean it's pretty nice that she continued to sing like nothing happened after security removed the guy from stage. So I guess stroms really don't last forever! She is the embodyment of her own song. Congrats!

And then this one.

Well done Italy. The only song that made me feel something, the lyrics are beautiful, their voices also, the music - all of it. Rarely do I hear a song and like it at the first moment. It talks about all the attacks across Europe and the situation in the world right now and it's final message is basically "You haven't done anything to me, my life goes on despite your evil." They should have won. But they were the third best in audience votes, so I guess there is hope for humanity after all. Highly recommend listening to it and if you don't know Italian, find the full translation online.

A Il Cairo non lo sanno che ore sono adesso
Il sole sulla Rambla oggi non è lo stesso
In Francia c'è un concerto, la gente si diverte
Qualcuno canta forte, qualcuno grida "A morte" 

A Londra piove sempre ma oggi non fa male
Il cielo non fa sconti neanche a un funerale
A Nizza il mare è rosso di fuochi e di vergogna
Di gente sull'asfalto e sangue nella fogna

English translation:

Now they don't know what time it is in Cairo
The sun on La Rambla today isn't the same
In France, there's a concert, people having fun
Someone sings powerfully
Someone screams "to death"

In London it always rains, but today it doesn't hurt
The sky makes no exception, even for a funeral
In Nice, the sea is red with fire and shame
With people on the asphalt and blood in the sewer

Just, wow. Congrats Italy on a beautiful song and performance.

Finally, so you don't think I only say shit about other countries songs, here is Croatia.

Let me start by saying I think she is pretty and has a good voice. But the lyrics are just really really underwhelming. She can do much better.

You make me feel
You got me deep inside this love
You make my heart go

Feel what?

Say you'll remember the
Roses, and horses, and the rain
Make it forever and I-I-I go

I mean IDK what happened with horses, but I'm guessing they are here just to rhyme with roses. I mean, all the lyrics seem like I heard them before somewhere.

That's all for my Eurovision review! I will end this on a good note. It must be intimidating to go on Eurovision and perform in front of millions of people. The voting - even I get nervous watching it. But this was just about the lyrics, I know the performers probably have the ability to write better lyrics and they have good voices.

Looking forward to next year and a new Eurovision - it's just a feel-good, diversity celebrating, glittery paradise!

Until next time 😄