Can we talk for a moment?

I know I haven't written in a long time, but there was a lot going on. But now I am back and I am damn inspired to write about stuff. This might look like a rant at one point, but that is only because it kind of is. So here are some things that have been going on:

First of all, one of the biggest changes I have had has been completely quitting drinking and smoking. I have not done either for a month now and I could not be more proud. It was difficult at first and it still is on some occasions. I even stopped going out for a while because it wasn't the same. I even had a period of time where I thought that I need those things to have a good time. But after some time I realized that it's not about that, it's who you are with.  If I hang out with my favorite people, I have the same fun I usually have with them. Only now I don't have a terrible headache tomorrow and I save way more money.
I always thought I couldn't do either, but I did and I feel very good about that. 

                                    

Speaking of hanging out with people, I realized it only gets boring when I am with those I don't consider friends and who I only have small talk with. I hate small talk.  I would love it if it was acceptable to turn around and leave when someone I rarely talk to asks me "hey how are you, what's new?" I mean we don't need to do this. We can sit in silence, I would be OK with that. You don't really care how am I or what's new. Nor do I about you, because if we did, we would talk and hang out usually. Also, what  is a short answer to "What's new?"- There is none. What do you want me to tell you - the last 24 years of my life? I find this redundant. Also in business, I know it's expected to have small talk about weather and stuff before talking about business, but why though? Why not simply talk about what we are here for -  what we need from each other. That way we can be more productive, leave sooner and go talk to the people we actually want to talk to. Or how about handle the business part, and then talk about whatever we want together. 

 Lol maybe not but you get the point

Now I don't mean this in a bad way as to say that I don't like people I have small talk with. Sometimes it is necessary, yes, I get it. And I don't expect everyone to tell me their life story when we meet, or vice versa. I just don't like the concept of small talk. I find it fake and unnecessary, and that's why I gravitate to direct, honest people. Tell me your relationship with your boyfriend isn't really that good as you pretend it to be. Tell me you love yourself, with confidence. Tell me you feel bad about yourself. Tell me you feel very happy because you got a promotion. Tell me why. And then I will tell you too, and we can both be real, human and honest and connect on a more personal level. 

Which brings me to my latest observations. Since I started the blog some people have asked me do I want to grow my number of followers, likes, earn money from it and in general just get more popular. And I have thought about it of course. I didn't start it with that thought, but after seeing that I love doing something and that people are responding, I thought about stuff like that. 

I follow the pop culture a lot, maybe even more than I should. I find it a source of entertainment for me and something fun to do. And since I do, I see how many of these people we call celebrities or idols or "goals" - are unhappy. Just look at how many are not only divorced, but have been cheated on or have cheated on someone, how many have been abused or have abused someone, physically or verbally, with the #MeToo and #TimesUp movement we now realize that some of them that we never thought would, actually do these horrible things.

Jennifer Aniston - infamous for broken relationships

How many have had mental breakdowns, image problems which made them do too many surgeries and change their bodies and faces during the years. Just look at how many of them died or committed suicide of drug and alcohol abuse or overdose. And these were talented, unique souls, whose legacy will live on until the end of time, because it was great.

The iconic Heath Ledger

Wonderful Robin Williams

I don't think their lifestyles are something to aspire to, yet we all know this, and we still admire some of them and wish to be like them. Yes they have endless money, cars, clothes, houses - but I don't think celebrities are happier than "regular" people. It's as simple as comparing it to eating a box of chocolates. You are hungry at first so you enjoy the first one, maybe the second and the third also, but as time goes by the more you have them the more they start to get boring and give you less satisfaction. At the end you are left with nothing but an empty box. What is the joy of having everything you ever wanted and in having the ability to get it whenever you want? What can you look forward to, what brings you excitement? Nothing anymore. Yes, love, family and relationships, but why do they not treat it like such then? Why do most of their relationships get complicated with jealousy, cheating, power and money? 

Just compare it to an average person on any social media. We post pictures of our life. Do we take one photo and post it? Of course not, we take minimum 5 photos, filter it and post it, people see it and think wow their life is great. Selfies? Nothing until 10 attempts from different angles and filters until we get the perfect photo. 

@saggysara

Couple photos? How would we know that they actually fight all the time. How would we know that for your "outfit of the day" picture you actually borrowed clothes from someone and did you makeup for an hour as well as your hair. Or that you stood on a chair in a restaurant to take a photo of your food. We don't see it. We have no idea what happens really in people's lives. We don't know that a person who travels a lot is feeling lonely because they actually work all the time there or is at some places only for one day but they post many pictures so it seems as it is a long trip. We don't know who is going through what. Which is understandable. People want other people to think best of them. 

@katrine.gisiger

Now imagine being a celebrity. Let me just clarify at the beginning that I don't think these people on these photos look bad on any photos, real ones or Instagram adapted, I actually like the real life ones more. I am just pointing out that celebs have a team of people for only one photo - for outfit, hair, makeup, production, filtering, Photoshop, a legal team and PR representative approving the caption and timing, and then posting. Nothing is a coincidence.

Galleria news

Isn't it funny that every time a "scandal" happens with a celebrity they are just about to drop a new song, or movie, or start a new season of their reality show? Talk shows - "surprise" guests, their topics, games they play - all produced and planned. Reality shows - I mean these Kardashians always seem to have drama just before a new season. Taylor and Kanye drama was posted just before an episode that explained all of it. All the cute stuff they do on interviews - it's promotion of their products, it's all for sales and ratings and in the end - money. 

All the "recommendations" of products on Instagram - all are payed ads. This is just how it works, it's business. So, if we as regular people change the perception people have of us just with a filter of a post - imagine what an industry of celebrities does. 

                                                    

And they are supported by bigger players. They are supported to do this stuff and act like that on television to entertain us and to keep us talking about how Kim took a naked picture again or Blac Chyna got into a fight, or even a child from doctor Phil who became a meme for saying "cash me outside" is now nominated for a Billboard award for best female rap singer!? Instead of us talking about real things in the world, instead of us actually fact checking things we see online, instead of us thinking about the information we get and drawing our own conclusions. And millions do this. And we still can't look away from the celebrities and their "glamorous" lives we secretly aspire to.

Now, I don't blame or hate on Kim or Blac or any of them for their success because they just saw an opportunity and took it. They were just smart enough to get the best out of their situations and I mean, you gotta respect that. But if our society supports this more than teachers who are shaping the minds of children, more than firefighters and doctors and people who actually save lives, more than scientists - then that is just our mistake we allowed to happen. 

And sometimes I am not any different, but I try to be, I try to look at them as pure entertainment, not get drawn into it too much, they are not goals, not idols, there is no admiration there. They are just people doing their job in the entertainment industry.

To conclude this, in light of recent events, and in light of the love I have for some of his music, I leave these Footnotes to Kanye West. 

                                   

Privacy is a gift. Moderation is everything. Having too much of anything makes you bored and unsatisfied. There must be balance. Bad days and good days. Work and holidays. Break ups and make ups. Stress and chill. Yin and yang.

What I choose is to write about things I care about, and do it because I love writing. Because it makes me arrange my thoughts in a way that makes sense to me. It is a sort of an outlet for me. And then in my spare time find happiness in small things and good people around me. 

Until next time 😊

"Choose handbags, choose high-heeled shoes, cashmere and silk, to make yourself feel what passes for happy. 
Choose an iPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of a window and stick it in the pocket of your jacket fresh from a South-Asian Firetrap.
Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and a thousand others ways to spew your bile across people you've never met. 
Choose updating your profile, tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone, somewhere cares. 
Choose looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don't look as bad as they do. 
Choose live-blogging, from your first wank 'til your last breath; human interaction reduced to nothing more than data. 
Choose ten things you never knew about celebrities who've had surgery. 
Choose unfulfilled promise and wishing you'd done it all differently.
Choose never learning from your own mistakes.
Choose watching history repeat itself.
Choose the slow reconciliation towards what you can get, rather than what you always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brave face on it. 
Choose disappointment and choose losing the ones you love, then as they fall from view, a piece of you dies with them until you can see that one day in the future, piece by piece, they will all be gone and there'll be nothing left of you to call alive or dead. 
Choose your future, Veronika. 
Choose life."
-T2